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dealing with rejection

Institutional rejection happens when you want to do something, but you can’t get a place.

This is what it looks like:

1. Academic institutions:

This forms a predictable pattern.

  • Criteria mismatch:
    • If your grades, test scores, or prerequisites don’t meet the bar, you’re out.
    • No matter where you go this is true.
  • Fit issues:
    • Institutions may be looking for applicants that align with their vibe.
      • Male/female
      • Cultural background
      • Religion
      • Background
      • Class.
    • There are laws against this, but you can be discriminated against for all sorts of reasons.
    • Look around at reality and don’t be naive.
  • Limited spots:
    • Even perfect candidates get rejected when there’s no room.
    • Top Universities Elite Programs turn away near perfect students all the time.
  • Human bias:
    • The person selecting you, may just not like you, the way you write, the way you dress - or even your background and vibe. There’s nothing you can do to control this.

See everything written about the institutions. There’s nothing you can do to fix this problem. You can try and address it, but the parameters are fixed. You can only do you’re best.

2. Corporates / organisations

Workplace rejections boil down to practical, experience or political reasons:

  • Skill / experience gaps:
    • You might not meet precisely what they want.
    • You may be more qualified than they want and think they wont be able to control you adequately.
    • You may simply not have the requisite background or relationships they want.
  • Cultural misalignment:
    • You might rock up to a job interview and it’s a team of start-up people, and you might be seen as corporate.
    • Or you may be too casual for the stuck up culture at the firm in question.
    • It may simply be age, or the way you look.
    • People work in packs, and networks. Remember that.
  • Overqualification:
    • You may want to try something new, but may be deemed classically to be TOO qualified. This scares employers as you might jump ship fast.
  • No job may exist at all:
    • Often companies will advertise jobs that are already earmarked for someone and they’re just wasting your time.
    • You can only try.

Example: A seasoned manager applies to a small firm but gets rejected because they’re seen as "too senior" for the role, despite being qualified.

3. Government institutional

Bureaucratic rejections can stem from rigidity. You may miss out for the following reasons:

  • Procedural errors:
    • If you miss a deadline or or form, your application could be toast.
  • Policy limitations:
    • If your case doesn’t fit the rules, it’s a no.
    • You’re application for a grant might fail due to procedural limitation or simply be deemed ‘too risky’ and there’s nothing you can do.
  • Resource scarcity:
    • Government spending goes up and down like the tide.
    • One year they might spend $7M on works. The next $0 due to cut backs.
  • Slow processing:
    • Not formal rejection, but often delays in process can turn into de factor rejections if you decide to do something else. Delays can turn into de facto rejections if opportunities pass.

A citizen applies for a housing subsidy but gets rejected because they submitted one day late, despite meeting all other criteria.

When it comes to rejection, the patterns are almost universally similar

  • You could be screened out automatically and it might not even be by a human:
    • Screening tools might miss keywords
    • A human that has no idea what they’re looking at could be the screener.
  • Network bias:
    • No connections? That’s an immediate disadvantage as they don’t know you.
    • People will often be prioritised based on referral.
  • Risk aversion:
    • If you haven’t followed the traditional career arc it could be a problem
    • Or they may simply see you’ve sat somewhere too long.
    • You might need to move every now and then to show progress.
  • Hidden bias:
    • Subtle preferences for certain backgrounds or traits can shape who gets in and who doesn’t.

Example: A creative freelancer applies to a corporate gig but gets filtered out by an ATS (applicant tracking system) for lacking standard keywords.

Dealing with the rejection of institutional rejection can be brutal

Dealing with institutional rejection is the #1 thing that destroys many people. They don’t get into the University they want, or the Company they want, or they’re passed over for communication - and that’s the end of them. Don’t be that person. Have some perspective.

What it’s going to look like:

  • Vague and condescending feedback:
    • Institutions often send vague, templated rejections ("We’ve gone with other candidates") to dodge specifics or liability.
    • (they dont care about you remember)
  • You’ll get subtle hints:
    • Sometimes it not a clear ‘No’.
    • You’ll simply be sent unclear feedback about next steps, and then ghosted.
    • You’ll probably know if you’re going to get the job. They’ll give you solid positive feedback, because they want to work with you.
  • Wider impact:
    • For individuals, constant rejection can erode confidence.
    • For society, it can entrench inequality if certain groups face it more.
    • And don’t assume that inequality only impacts certain genders or races. It can be aged based. Appearance based. It could even be on the grounds of positive descrimination the other way around.
    • Chalk it up to being human.

Conclusion

The best thing to do, is perhaps stop giving a shit. Don’t place your own self esteme on the back of things you cant control.

TBH - if you’re relying on this method to get employment, you may have work to do.