Dealing with rejection is a critical skill.
Rejection is part of lifes process and it can destroy a lot of people.
It happens most often when people end up in the wrong lane.
Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong them them. They’re just not supposed to be there.
Anticipating and responding to rejection skillfully is a superpower because its a trigger point to discuss new pathways and opportunities.
You may get rejected for a role, but in doing so - it creates new openings. So don’t let it crush you. Just get on with it.
Some common rejections you might encounter and how to respond:
Type of Rejection | Framework | Response Example |
Rejected for a job | Acknowledge–Reflect–Grow | “Acknowledge dissapointment but look at the factors. There may be superior candidates. You may be too qualified. They may have already had a candidate in mind.” - then immediately assess weaknesses to address - and look for pivot opportunities. If none - move on. |
Romantic or social rejection. | Self-Inquiry and Reframe | “Well that didn’t work out. What does this teach me about my needs. What does it teach me about their needs. I guess its time to move on. ” - then move on. |
Community involvement setback | Seek Support & Pivot | “I didn’t get voted onto the committee. Being turned down feels isolating. Explore avenues to continue doing what you want to do with a different method” |
Creative work critisism. | Visualize Future Success | “People hate my work. Figure out why. Start planning the next piece. Use emotion to fuel iteration” |
Workplace opportunity denial | Self-Differentiation & Ask | “I know my strengths. They’re either right or wrong. Figure out what it is’ - discuss your dissapointment and ask what you could do differently. Look for other avenues to fulfil your value. |
All of the above follow a simple formula:
You must first acknowledge and (’Feel’)
- Recognise your emotions as a real lived experience. It’s OK to be upset, sad and pissed off.
- Say it out loud - ‘I get it, rejection stings, and it’s ok to feel dissapointed’
Quickly pivot to Reflection or Proof:
- Frame it in perspective. Recall a worse situation, or gain perspective on the actual competitive landscape. There is a reason for rejection, and it may not be you before. Sit back and say ‘I’ve faced this before, and each time you come out stronger’.
Then put it in perspective:
- Yes the opportunity could have been great, but you have a bucket of opportunities you can go digging in if you frame it positively.
- Tell youself something like ‘this setback could sharpen my skills for next time’ - or actually listen to your gut ‘this opportunity may have been crap anyway’.
- If it’s not happening now, there’s probably a good reason.
Then get brutal and ask yourself the hard questions:
- If you’re going to nail it next time, how do you uncover those paths?
- “what do I need to do to get where I want to be” - and get with it?
The last point is super important. If the traditional orthodox approach won’t get you, dox it, and keep going anyway. Even if you have to build you own thing. Do that instead.
AND - final step.
Be SPECIFIC on the next steps: Commit to actions that will get you there.
Conclusion
Dealing with rejection is a skill that combines emotional acknowledgement, reflective learning and proactive action. By working through your own response mechanisms, you’ll transform setbacks into stepping stones, building resiliance and confidence to pursue your own goals in jobs, relationships, community invovement, and personal growth. Each rejection is not a dead end. It’s a prompt to try another way.