If you have goals to achieve anything, reinforcing connections, overcoming obstacles, and keeping your priorities top of mind is super important.
For this reason, you should build a structured follow up system to maintain momentum without acting randomly or sub optimally.
And this can be broken into stages for relationships or goals:
Initial interest or awareness of a goal:
- You want to identify or build new relationships of some kind:
- You may want to meet someone new, or
- You may want to build a relationship of some kind with someone you just met.
- Goals:
- You want to achieve something new. For example, you want to learn a new language, or get fit, or learn AI, or perfect a new skill.
NB: If you do not know what your goal is, you have very little probability of pursuing it or growing something great. The next phase is setting the tempo for that relationship:
Continuing to work on the relationship or goals requires a regular commitment to hit new milestones:
- Relationships:
- For example, you might want to schedule catch-ups, or send the person messages, or maintain contact to grow the relationship for mutual benefit.
- Goals:
- Mapping out how to achieve your goal. Yes, you may want to achieve something, but how does that manifest unless you set out the steps and actions to get there? Creating the plan is the essential ingredient beyond intellectual inquiry.
Commitment to action: You need to start executing on your plan, even when the going gets tough. Just commit to do something every single day to an outcome.
- Relationships:
- You might want to deepen a bond (for example, how do you progress a relationship, do you want to create a business venture with someone, do you want to embark on some kind of joint activity or adventure).
- Goals:
- You commit to taking actions towards your goal. This includes applying steady time commitments.
And remember to maintain it over the long haul. This is an important point.
So many people start something, they have a bad day and quit.
Rome wasn’t built in a day. Building anything of substance that involves other humans is almost always a slog.
Cadence and timing matters with this stuff. Don’t be a pressure freak, but also don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of either
Committing to do something is one thing, but following through is another.
Many people will enthusiastically talk about an opportunity. They may even turn up, but then before you know it they’ve bailed on you.
This is a real risk when you do anything with people.
For this reason, you need to think about the rhythm of your follow-up, and adjust based on needs and context.
Here are some critical example points:
You may show initial interest in doing something, and there appears to be agreement to explore it with another person:
- You probably want to follow up quickly and say you’re excited and you’ll message them in a few days.
- Then follow up according to the schedule.
See in a few days if the person does indeed enthusiastically respond. If they don’t respond or it takes ages for them to get back to you, there may be misalignment in the initial enthusiasm. At that point, you may be best to just wait it out to see if they come back.
A follow-up to this could be an enthusiastic expansion. You could send them an idea, or some content, or something you want feedback on. If they then slowly respond (again), it’s clear there’s some kind of problem. I’d even say if there’s something else going on or an excuse.
The next big challenge is setting a tangible commitment. They’ve said yes, so then the next commitment is to get a tempo of commitment:
- Set a time or place to catch up.
- Define work products you want to work on.
- Map out what stakeholders you need to talk to.
That’s the plan phase.
Next up is holding people to the plan.
- Is the person turning up?
- Call people to check in on priorities.
- People may say they want to come but keep cancelling for various reasons.
This often leads to one person doing all the work and carrying the rest. You don’t want to be in this position. If you say you’re going to do something, do it, and if someone else can’t commit, you need to question their value.
In time, you also need to set the relationship to maintenance mode:
- Do you want to continue what you’re doing?
- Are you still learning?
- Is the relationship still of value to all parties?
You need to assess this periodically, but a word of advice. People go through phases in life and have all sorts of pressure placed on them. If someone’s made commitments and they slow down due to those factors, perhaps take a step back, but don’t destroy relationships. Be understanding and show loyalty to those that have been loyal to you. Over time, things may just change. And that’s okay—it’s just part of life.
The final stage is, be consistent and deliberate in the way you engage
Some final tips:
- Say clearly how you’ll communicate with people, and execute those communications.
- Be consistent with the channels you use to communicate with people so they know how to reach you and you’re not always after everyone.
- Know when to push, and know when to back off.
- If things are ambiguous in the relationship, work to get clarity. Have the bravery to call them and ask what’s really going on. People will often be relieved and just tell you.
- Understand what’s going on in the other person’s life for context. They might not be ignoring you; they could have some other massive pressure they need to deal with first.
- If you’re in that situation, just communicate and quickly check in.
Know the list of things, relationships, and goals you’re working on. What you don’t measure, you won’t improve.
Conclusion
Effective follow-up turns intentions into results. It builds meaningful relationships and helps achieve goals. Remember to:
- Match your follow up style to your goals
- Know when to push and when to step back
- Communicate clearly and consistently
- Track your progress
By following up thoughtfully, you'll not only reach your goals but also create value for others, turning opportunities into lasting success.